Okay, this doesn't have much to do with success, but oh well. More on that to come - and that's a threat. Meanwhile, here are some of the reasons why I haven't been thinking all that much about success: Highlights of the last week, which overlapped with the end of school vacation:
Felt annoyed that unlike NYC, our city didn’t manage to plan
for spring break to encompass both Passover and Easter, but only Easter, which
left every lapsed reform Jew I know to have a seder on Good Friday or Saturday
of Easter weekend, still technically Passover, but not the first or second
night of it, as it should be.
Had my fourth round of venom immunotherapy. That's venom therapy for stinging insect allergy, to clarify - allergy shots, to the uninitiated. My arms didn’t go insane this time. Insane in this case means swelling up
an entire sleeve size and itching so much I was afraid I’d turn into that woman
who had a chronic itch in her head that was so constant that she actually
scratched a hole into her skull. Yes, that is right. So, yes, they – the arms -
did go insane the time before last, but last time, they only swelled up a bit,
and they only itched for two and a half days, and with Allegra and Benadryl at
night, and ice packs during the day, I was able to keep my arms.
Was gripped with awareness of impending loss of elder
daughter, who will be going to college in three years (never too early to start
mourning) and therefore insisted on a family trip to the smallest, sorriest
butterfly house you can imagine, full of rotting fruit and grownups who
disobeyed the only rule there: (Please) do not pick up the butterflies. There
were more people than butterflies in this house, and all the grown up people
were stumbling around with their fingers out, scooping up butterflies from
rotting fruit. Ah, family outings.
Meditated several times without changing in any essential
way.
Hope - you know, I already think about both kids leaving. I'm already in terrible mourning over their baby-hood being gone. I feel like I'm in constant mourning being a parent, as well as simultaneously in constant joy. Lovely post. Glad your arms are marginally better.
ReplyDeleteYes, constant mourning. It is so true.....
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