tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6525161379578984040.post5724186618906626273..comments2023-12-15T00:45:21.381-05:00Comments on Unmapped Country: If You Don't Have This, You'll Never Feel SuccessfulHope Perlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10599511890390199730noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6525161379578984040.post-87027337035272627602012-02-18T19:50:56.012-05:002012-02-18T19:50:56.012-05:00Ah, philosophy! I think I should've majored in...Ah, philosophy! I think I should've majored in it. Unfortunately, I only took a couple of classes, and the rest I've browsed through. I was just looking at the spine of my Aristotle the other day and thinking I should refresh my memory. <br /><br />You know, I personally avoid the scoreboard; but my kids are very aware of it. And it motivates them, to some extent. So I understand the impulse to try to instill appreciation of the process or of the thing itself, but for them, part of the thing itself is the competitive part. I am not sure that is such a bad thing. But when you start comparing your scores to other peoples, then the trouble starts. Especially if your self esteem is damaged. <br /><br />I've found my blogging helps my self esteem--as you say, getting involved in becoming a better person. Or in my case, in figuring out what is making me tick. <br /><br />I'd love links or research references, if you have time.Hope Perlmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10599511890390199730noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6525161379578984040.post-63740568385444806402012-02-18T13:28:11.377-05:002012-02-18T13:28:11.377-05:00>> And the market taketh away at the same ti...>> And the market taketh away at the same time it giveth, too. Right? <<<br /><br />This is what Aristotle basically said in his Nicomachean Ethics. Aristotle correctly identified how honor conveyed upon by others can just as easily be taken away. If one knows both cognitively and somatically that one is doing one’s best to be a good person, no one else’s opinion can matter very much. If I had children, I would teach them to never ever look at the scoreboard – both in a game and in life. Instead, focus on what does it mean to thrive and flourish and direct ALL of your energies toward that. BTW, this is precisely why I am pursuing a PhD in philosophy… :)<br /><br />I have self-esteem challenges as well and I find that dedicating myself to becoming a better person helps a lot. Another thing that helps is focusing on process feedback rather than trait, person, or outcome feedback. (BTW, there is some great research on this that I can share with you if you like – and this is a super beneficial tactic you can use as a mom.) The third thing I find helpful is to take the time to *feel* *in* *my* *body* the sensations that accompany feeling good about myself. We often talk about feeing something and that experience is often more cognitive than somatic sensation oriented. When we do this, we are robbing ourselves of our birthright: to *feel* good about ourselves.<br /><br />Okay, I will get off my soapbox now… :)David B.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02196091039672956168noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6525161379578984040.post-47419947250674193482012-01-21T19:44:20.100-05:002012-01-21T19:44:20.100-05:00I agree. And the market taketh away at the same ti...I agree. And the market taketh away at the same time it giveth, too. Right? Buy this car and drink this beverage because you'll feel better about yourself, because if you don't realize that's what you need to do, you're a big loser boob.Hope Perlmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10599511890390199730noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6525161379578984040.post-72342019064196546792012-01-21T19:12:47.750-05:002012-01-21T19:12:47.750-05:00Great discussion of self esteem!
Too bad our mark...Great discussion of self esteem!<br /><br />Too bad our market-driven culture encourages us to feel it's something we can run out and buy if we just find the right combination of products. Buy this car and drink this beverage and wear this brand of jeans, and feel better about yourself!Crabby McSlackerhttp://www.crankyfitness.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6525161379578984040.post-42915164959584657852012-01-21T06:49:14.809-05:002012-01-21T06:49:14.809-05:00Well, self-satisfaction in a smug sort of way is v...Well, self-satisfaction in a smug sort of way is vanity; but just feeling you're basically a decent person and have a right to take up your amount of space on the planet and a right to pursue your vision of happiness is not vanity: that's self-esteem.<br /><br />And thanks for the compliment! The dog is definitely adorable. And I, too, have lots of hair.Hope Perlmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10599511890390199730noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6525161379578984040.post-48186611963898835232012-01-21T01:51:34.035-05:002012-01-21T01:51:34.035-05:00So domain-specific self-esteem stems from being ab...So domain-specific self-esteem stems from being able to Do.<br />And global self-esteem stems from being happy to Be.<br /><br />Self-esteem means satisfaction in oneself, and is good, but self-satisfaction is vanity, and not so good.<br /><br />Your dog is even more of a perfectionist than you are. But you are both adorable.Scrollworkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09761198237613139398noreply@blogger.com