tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6525161379578984040.post6921685656652898928..comments2023-12-15T00:45:21.381-05:00Comments on Unmapped Country: IndependenceHope Perlmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10599511890390199730noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6525161379578984040.post-7135433314680873272010-09-03T19:41:34.266-04:002010-09-03T19:41:34.266-04:00Hope, when I think about the thrilling and yet tot...Hope, when I think about the thrilling and yet totally natural freedom my kids get in the country in France, tearing about wherever - and I mean wherever (great construction sites for playing in abound, not to mention water holes and farm equipment) - and they just go, there is actually not much I can do, but prepare them for it. And through my anxiety, I love that they get the chance to do that! Then, we come back to the city, and they feel so caged. We are just back, and August said to me: 'well, really mom, what can I do here, I can't even go outside and play because you have to vacuum'. So I am actually considering letting August take the city bus home from school alone sometimes (We've been building up to it). I do agree, we know our kids. I'm so glad you are letting your daughter taste these steps!karennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6525161379578984040.post-10942356997312804872010-07-31T17:25:31.561-04:002010-07-31T17:25:31.561-04:00Good for you Hope! I agree with the person who sa...Good for you Hope! I agree with the person who said that you should do what you feel is right for YOUR kids. I think older elementary school age kids and pre-teens are often more responsible than teens, so this is actually a better time to get them started on gaining the skills for independence. <br /><br />We let the kids walk alone from a restaurant to our hotel in Madison, WI a couple of weeks ago - several blocks, 3 turns, somewhat urban neighborhood - and were nervous about it, but they made it, and now all of us feel proud. One parent once said to me that she thinks it's crazy that most parents don't let their kids do anything alone, but as soon as they get their drivers' licenses parents let them go all over Timbuktoo in this dangerous vehicle that they have little experience with. That argument made sense to me, so I try to be more rational about what I let my kids do now. It is hard to withstand the pressure when other parents think you are crazy, but I've also found that some parents start doing the same when they see that your kid is given some freedom and is doing fine. (Of course, I'm the one whose kid was lost on the streets of Chicago this week and I didn't even realize it, so feel free to ignore everything I've said. That said, his scars from the experience seemed to have lasted all of 5 minutes. I'm the one who has had nightmares.)Susannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6525161379578984040.post-39753661812006999362010-07-20T16:01:35.380-04:002010-07-20T16:01:35.380-04:00Good for you - the gift of her own power and indep...Good for you - the gift of her own power and independence is the biggest gift you can give her. There is so much lost when fear is the one making the decisions.<br /><br />AlisonMailizhenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05436529384283869761noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6525161379578984040.post-39252393570669500542010-07-19T21:39:03.167-04:002010-07-19T21:39:03.167-04:00We leave the kids home alone when we walk the dog....We leave the kids home alone when we walk the dog. Actually, we've started leaving them home alone for errands, too. So far, not at night, though. Alas. And I don't feel good about leaving the younger one by herself yet, so I don't.Hope Perlmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10599511890390199730noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6525161379578984040.post-19606285714005359372010-07-19T21:13:58.216-04:002010-07-19T21:13:58.216-04:00Hmm. Will I need to post this anonymously? Our kid...Hmm. Will I need to post this anonymously? Our kids have been staying home alone for two years. Not for long periods of time, but for an hour or so, and now even a couple of times into bedtime. Last summer we left them home to go to the garden club plant sale and one mother (of older kids) was clearly shocked at what we had done and mused if it was even legal. We had a cell phone, were 4 minutes from the house, at 10 am in the morning for maybe 30 minutes. Really??? Basically, we know our kids. They were, and are, fine.Anne Sauerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10845677263277228156noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6525161379578984040.post-91871566749091968382010-07-19T11:25:19.750-04:002010-07-19T11:25:19.750-04:00I get the feeling that your (and almost everyone e...I get the feeling that your (and almost everyone else's) definition of "parenting by committee" is not intended to include and involve those without kids ("I love the guy, but he has no kids."), but I'll just say that another childless male with silvering, sort-of-silky-I-guess, chin-length hair, applauds the fact that you are considering this. I love the girl too, and am concerned for her well-being and safety, but a block and a half seems like a reasonably safe distance, and a good start on the longer road to independence. Perhaps the old hippy could even walk out the front door and watch her as she approached for the first couple of days... that might ease concerns all around. - TT and Ahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06657026960826361863noreply@blogger.com